She's Special
by gawilliams
Summary: Sequel to He's Special. Booth is helped by Bones as he tries to deal with amnesia and the emotions that come with that.
1. Chapter 1

_Here's the opening chapter to the sequel for He's Special. I wanted to do two stories. One was primarily from Bones' perspective of Booth's surgery and direct aftermath. The second would be primarily from Booth's as he comes home and is appreciating all that Bones' means to him, despite his amnesia. I'm not sure how well this one will be received, as it's different, but I hope everyone enjoys it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Seeley Booth walked into the apartment that he'd just been informed was his. He was accompanied by the woman he'd spent a great deal of time with at the hospital, Dr. Temperance Brennan, or Bones as she said that he calls her. For some unknown reason, he felt very comfortable around her, and was glad that she had told him that she would be helping him until his memory returned.

Looking around, he could see that while neat, the apartment was cluttered with a lot of nick knacks, including a large hanging model airplane in the living room. The color scheme was a bit on the darker side, but that wasn't bad. The only bothersome aspect was he couldn't recognize anything, except, of course, the picture of Bones. After several days in the hospital with her, he knew her and trusted her implicitly.

"Does anything look familiar?" Bones asked him.

He turned to look at her. "Only the picture of you," he replied honestly. He avoided shaking his head in frustration, as the headaches from the surgery were still there. The Doctors told him to expect that, and to keep sudden movements to a minimum for some time as the bone mended, and the incision as well.

Bones didn't comment on that, though she did feel warm and good about his answer regarding here, even though she knew that part of his answer was the amount of time she'd been spending with him in the hospital. Her heart constricted a bit as he had to have seen the picture of Parker, who she now knew he only recognized as a tiny baby just having been born. She hoped that Parker would be able to understand what happening was adequately so that he would not be hurt by all this.

After about ten minutes of looking around with no real recognition, he was drawn back to the mantle where some photos were displayed. He felt his tension and frustration levels rising alarmingly, and his back and shoulders tensed.

"Booth?" Bones asked when she noticed the decided change in his stance and bearing.

"I don't recognize anyone on those pictures except you," he said angrily. He rubbed his eyes. "I should know these people!"

His anger didn't phase her at all. She was expecting this. Now she had to try and dissipate that anger.

"Booth," she said and it got his attention as her tone was commanding. "You had someone open your skull and do complicated surgery on your brain. There was some damage to surrounding tissue from the tumor, and some form of memory block or loss is reasonable. It's not your fault, or anyone else's."

Booth sighed in deep frustration, all the while recognizing the truth of what she was saying. The gauze wrapping on his head was proof of all of it. But why had he been so readily comfortable with her from the first second? How had God played such a cruel trick on him by letting him feel safe with this one person, yet not even know his own son, outside of him being an infant? He took a seat on the couch, and before he could even think, an image flashed in his head of her standing behind him with her hands under his arms and on either side of his head. Then the image left him.

"You saw something?" Bones asked hopefully.

He focused his gaze straight ahead. "I think so. Was there ever a time when you were behind me and holding onto either side of my head?" he asked.

Bones grimaced. Of all the things to remember, he had to remember when she almost tore the hell out of his back, though it turned out it wasn't her fault. She'd felt horrible at the time, and she also had the lousy memory of Agent Perrota making moves on her Booth! Wait a minute. Did she just use a possessive in thinking of Booth? She would kick Booth's ass, or any other man's, if that was ever done with respect to her, yet she was now thinking of Booth in terms of being hers. There was no time to dwell on that now, though. She would later as she had some alone time.

"Yes," she admitted. "You had a very sore back and asked me to rotate it."

"Did it work?" he asked curiously.

"No," she replied. "You were on pain killers and bed rest for over a week."

"Ugh," he said in clear displeasure of the idea of being basically down for a week.

Bones smiled at his reaction, as she knew what he was thinking of. As an active person herself, the idea of being prisoner in her own apartment was not something pleasant to consider. "You survived," she assured him. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Tired," he reluctantly admitted. He'd not wanted to say anything, but his fatigue from just the ride from the hospital and the short tour of what was obviously his apartment, had taken a lot out of him. His thoughts kept coming back to the woman who was in front of him. He remembered a dream where they were married and owned a club, but that was a dream. The real thing was at the same time worse because they weren't married, but better since they had some genuine purpose to everything, if her rendition of their jobs was anything to go by.

"How about you lie down for a while and then we can have dinner and talk some more later?" she suggested.

"I guess," he shrugged, not really wanting to sleep, but recognizing how tired and run down he was feeling. He followed her to the bedroom, where he laid down on the bed and without any real effort, was asleep in minutes.

His sleep was restless as he dreamed. At least he thought it was a dream. He kept seeing images that disturbed him. One was on a dock with Bones looking out at a sail boat moving off in the distance. He couldn't fathom why he felt such relief with that image. Another was one where he was at a quarry of some sort running towards something, but the image was interrupted by another image of him in a ships hold. Both images left him feeling extremely agitated and anxious. The final image was of Bones sitting across from him in this very apartment having a debate about something being "worth it". He couldn't figure out what was being discussed, but a warm feeling suffused him as his image said that "it" was.

That was when he woke up and looked around. The window looking outside was open a bit and he could see that it was dark outside now. He must have been asleep a lot longer than he thought he was. It had been early afternoon when he'd laid down. Getting up, he made his way out of the bedroom and into the living room where he found Bones sitting on the couch with her laptop perched across her thighs. She appeared to be diligently working on something.

"Anything interesting?" he asked.

Bones looked up and smiled. She'd began getting worried about an hour before when he hadn't woken up yet, and had been just about to check on him when he asked her that question.

"Just another chapter for my new novel," she told him.

"Can I read it?" he asked. He couldn't understand when she started to chuckled. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing really," she told him. "It's just that you always ask that question and I always tell you that you'll have to wait until it's available for everyone else."

"Oh," he said with a slight disappointment. He liked to read, and she was an interesting woman.

Bones got up and went to the bookcase. She pulled off three books and handed them to him. "Here's the three that I've had published so far," she explained.

He looked at the three hardcover editions and then read the handwritten inscription in each of them. "Thanks," he told her. "I'll read these tomorrow since you have to go into work for a bit."

Bones grimaced. "Yeah," she told him. Cam had called her that morning and explained that she was needed to set out some parameters for Fisher and Hodgins as they began to work on a new case. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"Starved," he told her.

"I'll call for some takeout from Wong Fu's," she said as she pulled out her cell phone.

"Bones?" he said when she got off the cell phone.

"Hmm?" she murmured as she began shutting down her laptop.

"Thanks for everything these last few days," he told her.

Bones looked up at him with a very serious look. "You'd do the same for me if the situation was reversed, Booth," she said evenly, though she was sure that the probing eyes that were searching her every expression and reaction could tell that her words held a deep and strong conviction behind them.

Booth, for some reason, was sure that what she said was absolutely true. He was also sure that he would do much, much more for her without a seconds hesitation. That feeling that he'd had upon seeing her when he woke up a few days before was as strong as ever. Bones was special. Very special. Now he just had to get his memory back so that he wouldn't inadvertently hurt the obviously fragile person who hid behind the strong, aloof persona that Bones presented to the world.

_A/N: I'm not sure if this story is going to work, but here's the start of it. I want to have it be about four or five chapters long and work on the ins and outs of their relationship, yet have the added dimension of Booth having serious glimpses into his lost memory. Let me know if it works. All the best, Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Here at last is the second chapter of this story. I spent some time wondering how best to proceed and then decided that Booth having a journal might be a good avenue to take. So here is the first part of that idea. Thanks for all the great reviews of Shopping With Bones. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Something was bugging Seeley Booth. He had been home for two days now, and he still could not remember. It was especially painful to deal with when he knew he had a son of seven years, and a girlfriend who by all the evidence he'd seen thus far, was way out of his league. Parker he could deal with, as he loved children and Bones had done wonders in explaining to his son what had happened and why he couldn't remember. But Bones was the real puzzle, and also the most painful element to deal with.

She was socially awkward, to say the least, but for some reason he didn't care. He laughed at her jokes, lame though they may be, but he really liked them. He loved her no nonsense approach to everything and her explanations of things, while long winded and too squinty for his tastes, also didn't annoy him as they would coming from anyone else. The smile she shined at him all the time when she would see him also brightened his mood. He had the feeling that she only gave that smile to him and no one else.

He'd spent most of this morning reading his journal which he kept daily, and he was thankful that that habit hadn't ended with the birth of his son. He'd focused in on the impressions he'd had of Bones for the last five years that they'd apparently known one another. Certain entries had caught his attention.

_March 24, 2005: I met the dreaded Bone lady today at the Jeffersonian. I'm the third attempt of the Bureau to work with her on a case. God what a woman! She's hot, but what a stiff! No sense of humor whatsoever, and that ego of hers would choke an elephant. She put together a dossier of the victim that was unbelievable from just looking at two bones from the victims arm, for God's sake! When I challenged what she was saying, hoping to have a real discussion of what the hell was going on, she just walked off! What a BITCH! I complained to Cullen, but that tight ass told me I was stuck working with her. I sure hope that the weekend let's her blow off some steam so we can get some serious work done. Maybe I'll pick up a copy of her novel and read it this weekend. Perhaps that will give us some common ground to work with._

_September 13, 2005: I don't know if I should get a commendation, or have a shrink examine me for being delusional. I think I just made a pact that will seal my doom at the Bureau. I agreed to let Bones out in the field in all aspects of the investigation, beginning to end. Cullen was not happy and told me bluntly that she was my responsibility. I am on my way to confession where I will also light a candle and pray that this works out alright. I have a feeling the Big Guy upstairs will be working overtime on this one. Bones is brilliant, but headstrong, with no people skills. I must be insane, but for some crazy reason, I like her._

_December 4, 2005: Can I go to jail for capping some asshole who made a fool of Bones and damaged her self-confidence? That bastard she trusted and took to her bed used her weaknesses against her in court. I know we're not the _**best**_ of friends, but Bones is a friend and is becoming my partner. I need to keep a closer eye on what's going on so this kind of bullshit doesn't happen again. She's special._

_December 25, 2005: Parker likes Bones and he only saw her for all of a minute! He's been asking me about her nonstop since we left Sid's and he isn't about to let up. He keeps asking me why I call her Bones, and if she's going to be my girlfriend. Now wouldn't that be something??? Bones dating someone like me. Don't get me wrong. I want her. I have since we went to Washington and found the cannibal. That night at the bar where all those guys wanted to dance with her and I saw the ugly head of jealousy rising was all it took to convince me of that. It's got me thinking, though. Parker's never liked any of my girlfriends, but he likes Bones. He's always been right in the past, so is he right now? I've got to think about this. Talk about entangling alliances. Maybe George Washington had it right in his Farewell Address._

_February 10, 2006: I don't know what the hell I'm going to do about Bones. She drives me crazy when we're working on a case, and the rest of the Squints, too, but when I see her in her office or on the platform, I can't seem to help but stare. That blue lab coat of hers is just about the hottest thing I've ever seen on a woman. What I don't understand is how this is happening to me. She's totally not my type, and she's way out of my league. And what is it with her and her constant references to sex and biological imperatives? I feel like my mother is trying to have a conversation about the birds and the bees with me whenever she brings up the subject. That and a serious desire to beat the shit out of whatever guy she's talking about when she brings up the latest lover she's had a fling with._

_March 16, 2006: I swear she's doing this on purpose. On line dating??? What the fuck is going on??? Does she have any idea about what kind of sick fucks are out there just waiting to seriously mess up a gorgeous woman like Bones? This sicko is definitely in for a serous background check. No one is going to date Bones unless he passes the Seeley Booth Background Check. I just hope Bones doesn't find out what I'm about to do, or she'll seriously kick my ass._

Booth paused in his thoughts at this point. In one year he'd gone from hating her with a real passion, to befriending her, to desiring her, and finally wanting to protect her with a generous helping of jealousy added in. His journal entries had also changed somewhat in that year. Previous to knowing her his journal had been a balanced mixture of work and personal material, as if he was keeping a record of sorts. Upon meeting her, though, it became a log of his thoughts and inner monologues about Bones. That alone showed that she had a magnetism that one wouldn't expect when meeting her, outside of the obvious physical attributes. The more intangible qualities, qualities that he now knew first hand after her incredibly generous help in his recovery, were subtly discussed, but nothing concrete to let him know what had been changing. Later entries were to bring some of that to light. There was one entry that he came back to again as it shed some light on some of the more brittle aspects of her personality.

_May 30, 2006: I just had dinner with Bones. The last few weeks have been tough as she's come to grips with the fact that her Mother is dead and had been in Limbo at the Jeffersonian for a decade and no one knew it. I hated to tell her a while back that the original investigation into her parents had been a good one with what was known at the time. She thanked me, though. For the first time I saw the real Bones peeking through. The woman who wants to trust someone, but doesn't quite know how. I think that after all this, I may be the one person she feels safe around and can talk to. Angela's great, but I get the feeling that Bones doesn't open up with her like she does me. Maybe that trip Bones mentioned tonight will help her deal with what's happened lately. All I know is, I'll be waiting for her to open up if and when she's ready. It's the least I can do for my best friend._

"So you decided to learn about the last few years," Bones said as she walked into the living room and saw him reading the journal. She knew that Booth kept a journal faithfully, but had never asked to see it, or asked about anything in it. He had always respected her privacy regarding the drafts of her novels, and she equated this in the same manner. If he wanted her to see it, then he would show it to her.

"Actually it's more about how I've felt about you since we met," Booth admitted, not sure if he should be saying anything, but couldn't help but be honest with her. He had the feeling that he'd never lied to her before.

Bones arched her brow. "I can only imagine what you thought of me early on," she remarked, a little amused. She had it on good authority that he had considered her a real bitch when they first met, but then again, her view of him wasn't much better.

Booth chuckled. "It wasn't flattering," he admitted.

"Has any of it helped with your memory?" she asked curiously, and a bit hopefully.

"I see images, but nothing that really comes together as understandable," he replied. "I've been thinking about the entries the first year we knew each other. Let me ask you something. Did I actually withhold evidence in New Orleans when you were being investigated for murder?"

Bones got the same warm feeling that she always did when that particular incident was brought up. She hated the incident and surrounding events, but the complete selflessness of that act had touched her deeply. "My Mother's ear ring," she told him with a nod. She set down some snacks for him. "Can I make a suggestion?" she asked.

"Anything," he responded as he picked up the beer she'd put down with the snacks.

"Read the second year," she suggested. "I think a lot of what made our current relationship possible happened in that year. The third year only built on all that, though we had some real moments than, too. Then the fourth year had escalations all it's own."

He nodded. He'd had that feeling when he'd read the whole journal, but with her input he began to see a little more to it. He'd reread that second year after relaxing with her for the afternoon. He decided to ask the question that had been on his mind. "Let me ask you something," he said. "How come someone who has so much going for her is interested in someone like me? It seems a bit odd."

Bones almost didn't answer, but she decided to let him in on something that she'd never really said to him when he had his memories. "I have wonderful friends, Booth, like Angela and Hodgins, but of all the people I've known, you're the first one to ever really try and understand me without trying to change me. We debate and argue about things, like religion, but you never try and make me into something I'm not. It's what makes you special," she revealed. She stood up. "I have a couple of things to do on the link to the Jeffersonian. Reread the second year and maybe you'll understand what I just told you."

He watched her walk out of the room and wondered again what he'd done right to have her come into his life. Taking a bite of cheese and cracker, he picked up the journal again and decided to get back at it.

_A/N: I decided to split up his reading of the journal into chapters based on the seasons. I hope everyone enjoys this one. Let me know. Gregg._

_A/N2: The reference to "entangling alliances" and George Washington is from his Farewell Address in 1796/1797 in which he warned the young United States against forming entangling alliances with foreign nations. It formed the basis of most US foreign policy up until the start of World War II._


	3. Chapter 3

_I decided to fiddle around with a new chapter to this one and this is what I came up with. I hope you all enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. _

_Sept. 1, 2006: This is going to be a disaster. Cam. She's here at the Jeffersonian and saying that _**SHE**_ is the boss of the Squints. I hate to break it to her, but no one is Bones' boss, and the Squints follow Bones' lead, no one else's. Goodman was good at handling her, but we all know that if push came to shove, the Jeffersonian would never allow anything to get in the way of their star scientist. I hope I'm wrong, but I think I'll have to have a little Come to Jesus meeting with Cam in the near future when Bones gets back and gets pissed at Cam's style. Pissed? Make that livid. Why did they have to hire Cam???_

Booth read that entry and had to smile. Cam always was a bullheaded autocrat when it came to leadership style, and he had the feeling that the "Come to Jesus" meeting happened rather sooner than later. He knew it did, having read the journal earlier, but he was trying to come at this with a fresh mind now that Bones had explained some things to him. He skipped some entries and went to one that he'd noticed before.

_Sept. 26, 2006: Well, Bones being back and the all is right with the world good feelings lasted all of a day. She now knows about Cam, and already is pissed. Bones pissed off is not a good thing. And why the HELL did Cam have to call me Seeley? Now Bones knows Cam and I have a history and she thinks I've gone over to the other side! Fuck! This past year I've fallen hard for Bones and now all our hard work to become great partners and friends is going down the fucking toilet! _

_Sept. 30, 2006: Had a little chat with Camille today, and now she knows that she'll lose it all if she doesn't start realizing that she really can't fire anyone unless she wants a mass exodus. Cam's smart enough to know that if that happens, she can kiss her job goodbye in a heart beat. I also let her know in no uncertain terms where my loyalties lie. By the look in her eyes, I think she got it pretty damn quick. NO ONE fires Bones without first dealing with me, and I can guarantee that I won't fight fair, and it won't be pretty. Now I have to do some damage control with Bones and see if we can get back on track. She still seems wary about me because of my history with Cam. Why can't the chair warming sons-of-bitches who try to run things understand the simple truism 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it!'? By hiring Cam, the Jeffersonian tried to fix something that wasn't broken._

Yeah, he had to admit that the chair warmers usually did their damnedest to try and fuck things up by the numbers. If what he'd seen so far of Bones, there was no way that any operation she'd been running had had any need of enhancing or fixing. Cam was great at her job, he was forced to admit, and at heart a very good person, but he had always prided himself on being objective even in the face of personal considerations, so if he had written in his journal that it wasn't broken, then by God it hadn't been. He looked back at the journal and went to the next set of entries that had bothered him.

_Nov. 1, 2006: Shit! What was I thinking??? Getting involved with Cam again??? And now Bones knows. DAMN! Now she thinks I'm sleeping with the proverbial enemy! They've managed to call a truce, but it's pretty touchy so far. This is a no win situation. If I continue with Cam, Bones stays pissed at me and that's unacceptable. If I dump Cam, she'll be pissed and right now I have to run interference between her and the Squints. Life sucks!_

_Nov. 15, 2006: I almost lost Bones today. I don't understand, or know, what I'm supposed to be feeling right now, but I do know that if I had lost her I would have lost the one person in my life outside of Parker who means more to me than anything else around me. I've already come to the conclusion that I love her, but at the same time I'm too much of a sniveling coward when it comes to Bones to admit it. This whole Gravedigger business has only made me realize just how much Bones being here by my side means to me. If I ever find the son-of-a-bitch who did this, they'll wish they'd never been born!_

_Feb. 1, 2006: A line??? Did I actually say that to Bones? What am I, an idiot??? Bones takes what I say about our partnership seriously and I just told her that there was a line that we couldn't cross. FUCK! Now I won't ever stand a chance of being with Bones in the way I'm damn sure we both want. She seemed ready to ask me about it and then I had to open my damn mouth and spout off about a line! I'm glad this thing with Cam is over with, and I admit I was scared about the possible consequences to my friends in the aftermath of her being poisoned, but a line??? I pray to God that Bones gets a clue before too long and calls me on it. I don't stand a chance if she decides to argue the point._

_Feb. 8, 2007: A clown? Why did it have to be a clown? Do I have a serious desire to lose my job? Now I have to deliver the performance of a lifetime to some shrink and convince him I haven't got some serious problems upstairs. At least Bones has a good partner during all this. Sully's someone I can trust to watch her back and make sure that things are smooth as silk when I get back._

_Feb. 21, 2007: That son-of-a-Bitch! How dare that bastard ask me if Bones was available! And what do I do? I open my mouth and tell him she's single and available! God Dammit! Bones is mine and I just handed my former friend the keys to the ultimate prize in this whole ritual we call life. God? Please don't let Bones know I referred to her as a prize, even though I didn't mean it in that context. I really want to have the ability to have another kid or two, hopefully with Bones._

Booth sat back and thought about those entries. A line between them? Now that didn't make any sense, even in the aftermath of Cam being poisoned. What was he so afraid of? One thing that came to mind was that perhaps he didn't feel that Bones was ready for the committed relationship that his journal entries were telling him he desired with her. But even that was pretty thin considering the fact that Bones would obviously look after herself when it came to her safety. And Sully? How could he do that to a friend? Booth made a mental note to find him when he got his memory back and give him a serious ass kicking.

Images were also coming at him more frequently as he read the entries. It wasn't clear enough, or with enough context that he could process and make sense of them yet, but he was beginning to see some patterns that were recognizable. He would definitely have to speak with Bones about the images.

The next entry on his list made him see red, as even he, with his nonexistent memory of her, could see what a colossal mistake the guy was making.

_March 22, 2007: Does Sully have a screw loose? I mean really. Does the guy even know Bones? Granted the idea of him knowing her in the Biblical sense makes me want to hurl, then beat him to a pulp, but come on! How the hell can he even imagine that she would simply sail away with him for a year? She loves her work. It's her life! And now he thinks she's willing to simply give it up? Who am I kidding, though. I'm really pissed off because he made the offer and she may actually go with him. I wouldn't have my best friend to work with and spend time with anymore. Pathetic, isn't it? I drew a fucking line between us, and she took it seriously. I can't blame her for that. In the process of trying to protect her, I made my life practically not worth living. Except for Parker, she's the only person in my life who gives me some purpose, and also someone who I know accepts me for simply who I am. I don't want her to go._

_March 24, 2007: Thank God! She let him leave without her. She wouldn't say it, but I saw it in her eyes. She wasn't leaving because she didn't want to leave me. She's hurting that one more person she let in has left her, and I could kill Sully for that, and I know she will seek out some physical comfort from some schmuck in the near future, but the reality is she stayed because she didn't want to leave me. I just hope that one day she'll be ready to admit it, and we can be together._ _I better warm up my computer skills so I can be ready to do some serious background checks on the freaks she decides to date. If I have anything to say about it, no one will be hurting her again like this._

Booth wanted nothing more than to seek out Sully and seriously hurt his former friend. He may not remember any of this, but reading between the lines a bit further, he could tell that Bones had been hurt seriously by all of it. Could that be one more piece to the puzzle as to why it took so long to get together with her? That and that unbelievably stupid line bullshit, of course. He needed to speak with her about this and soon. He set the journal down and decided that that was enough for one day. He'd review the rest of the second year the next day.

"Had enough for a while?" Bones asked as she came back into the living room to find him leaning back with his eyes closed as if he was seriously thinking about something.

"Yeah," he told her as he opened his eyes and looked at her. He could feel the nervous energy that seemed to radiate off of her as she studied him intently, obviously concerned about him. He decided to ask her the question that this batch of entries had left him with. "How come you didn't go with Sully?" he asked.

Bones sighed. This was a subject that she was most decidedly not comfortable with. Her relationship with Sully had hurt Booth, and she had learned from Hodgins and others just how much after it was over. She could only imagine what some of the entries in that journal must say considering some of the arguments they had during that time, and Booth's look whenever he found her with Sully no matter how innocent the moment may have been. While she was tempted to tell him the same thing that Gordon Gordon had equated it to, that would be lying to Booth, and she couldn't do that. Not now and certainly not with such an important subject.

"I got involved with Sully because of the line you drew between us," she explained. "I shouldn't have gone out with him, but I was hurt, and since I couldn't have you, I wanted someone I felt would be positive for me and have some fun with. Looking back on it, I was wrong. When he asked me to go with him, I admit I was tempted since you had always been encouraging me to get out in the world and see what it had to offer outside of work. But when it came to making the decision, I couldn't leave. It wasn't because I love my work too much, or I had some unfinished business, but it was because I somehow knew that if I did, it would make it impossible to ever be with you, if that ever were to come about."

"So I was an idiot with that line stuff, huh?" he observed.

"I'd say so," she told him honestly. "A lot of what's happened, and a lot of the decisions I've made, personally, the last couple of years came about because of that line. I don't like it, but I'm not angry either. If we had gotten together back then, it may not have worked out. I've changed a lot since you made that line, and the changes have been for the better. I think I'm ready now, so I can't say it was wasted time, though I am sorry I hurt you."

"When I read the entry about when Sully left, I wanted to find him and beat him up," Booth admitted.

"I'd do the same if he came back," she replied with a mischievous smile and a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. She placed a hand on his. "You're the one person I know I can count on no matter what. No matter who I've been with in the past, you're the only one I've ever been able to say that about."

"What about the Squints?" he asked curiously.

"It's different with them," she said after a moment to consider it. "I trust them, and they're my friends, but you're more than that and always have been. I can't really explain it, but while they are in my life, you in many ways are my life because of who you are and the fact that you've always accepted me for who I am and haven't tried to change me. You've also shown me what the world around me is really like. You've managed to convince me that seeing beyond the seemingly black and white sterile world I work within is not only possible, but positive and important."

Booth felt humbled by what she'd told him. She had really hit him with some powerful impressions, and it was all in the space of a few short sentences. He only hoped that he never did anything to damage that trust she had in him. Then he remembered something.

"Wanna watch the game with me?" he asked as turned on the television. "The Pirates are playing the Phillies in a double header!"

Bones wanted to groan, as she still did not understand the fascination with sports, but she couldn't deny that she wanted to spend time with him, even though it was difficult to be with him in his amnesiac state. It hurt to see her best friend reduced to that, though it was only temporary, she hoped. She smiled, a little forced, and agreed. "Sure," she told him. "I'll get us a beer and be right back."

Booth watched as she left the room and then turned back to the television. He'd definitely be reading the remainder of the second year the next day. For now, he would enjoy the game, and more importantly Bones' company.

_A/N: I thought I would take a short break from Why Does It Matter while I work out a couple of elements and put some work into this one. I split up the second year into two parts, this chapter being the first one. I hope everyone enjoys it. Once again I want to thank you all for the fantastic reviews lately. They've been wonderful. Gregg._


	4. Chapter 4

_I wanted to get this one out as soon as possible as the last chapter ended in the middle of the second season. I think this one gives more insight into how Booth views things with Bones as his emotions grew more entangled with her in his life according to the journal entries. I hope you all enjoy it and thank you for the continuing reviews. After this one, I am heading back to Why Does It Matter as I have the chapter where Hodgins admits to being El Sicko almost complete. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth picked up the journal that he'd been staring at most of the morning. The day before had given him some powerful information, and also a short, but potent, conversation with Bones. He had the distinct impression, both from the journals and his own observations, that she was an intensely private person, and no matter how close they were, and how forthcoming she appeared to be, the day before had to have been extremely uncomfortable for her when he asked her about Sully. It was a vastly different sort of conversation from the ones he had read about in the journal where she had so matter of factly goaded him with discussions about sex delivered in such a detached manner. He had asked her in a very matter of fact way that precluded any sort of detachment. He wondered if there was anything he could tell her about himself that would balance that out a bit and show her that he understood, but unfortunately he was at a loss since he had no idea how much he had ever told her about himself. He opened up the journal and read the next set of entries, which gave him some pause as they weren't daily like usual. Instead there were some gaps. Evidently a lot happened that prevented him from entering much in his journal.

_March 31, 2007: Will things ever get back to normal between me and Bones? It's all non-stop arguing. Not our usual bickering and bantering, which is fun and somewhat productive, but all out arguing and animosity. Angela pulled me aside and asked me to be patient. Bones is evidently really hurt by Sully leaving like he did, and she's regressing some. According to Angela I'm the best thing for Bones right now, and I needed to be there to take the brunt of it and show Bones that there's at least one man that won't give up on her no matter what. Maybe this is the time that I've been wanting to have come about for so long and royally screwed up with that line nonsense. I don't know, but I do know that I won't let Bones down. She may be angry at me, and say she wants to be alone, but I can handle that and make sure that she knows, deep down, that I'm there for her. If Sully were here I'd beat the shit out of him for hurting her so badly. Bones may put up a good front, but inside she's emotionally brittle and needs something positive in her life. If she'll let me, I'll be that positive, even if it's only as a best friend._

Now Booth seriously wanted to seek out and maim, or castrate, Sully. Booth had always been able to read people very well, and reading between the lines, Bones had been seriously fucked up emotionally by all this bullshit. Bones had talked a bit more about her relationship with Sully while they watched the game the day before, and he had not been happy with his former friend, Sully. The man apparently had not tried to get to know Bones beyond simply looking for a good time, which he had to admit that Bones was all for at times by her own admission, but to try and ask her to do something that anyone who took a moment to get to know her would never dream of asking was a bit much.

The next entry was pretty self-explanatory. He'd met Angela and Jack Hodgins, and while he was having as much trouble remembering them as everyone else, he liked them. The entry was amusing.

_April 6, 2007: I'm sitting here in the hospital and not really sure how to handle the attention I'm getting from Bones. I'm being released tomorrow, and won't be allowed back to work for a week or so. Bones has been here the entire time, and if what she says is true, and I have no reason to doubt it, then I have Max to thank for being rescued. Isn't that just lovely? A man I am duty bound to arrest the second I see him, and he goes and saves my life. How do I get through that and have my friendship with Bones remain intact? I've said it before on occasion, but I'll say it again. Life sucks!_

_April 10, 2007: Watching Hodgins and Angela is beginning to be a real spectators sport. Bones has been telling me some amusing stories about the two of them. My favorite is about those two nuts going at it like bunnies on the Cleopatra Bed in the Egyptian Department. My only question is what the Hell Angela sees in the Bug and Slime Guy. Sure, he's richer than sin, and has a lot to offer, but he acts like he's about to cream his jeans at the mere mention of some of the grossest crap in creation! And now I hear he's trying to come up with the perfect way to propose. Now that should be good for a few entertaining stories! I'll have to ask Bones for the latest dirt on that score when we meet up for lunch tomorrow. Who would have thought that Bones actually likes to gossip??? That's much better than the arguing we were doing a couple of weeks ago._

_May 4, 2007: This is hilarious! I mean, I sympathize with Hodgins on this one as I don't have the best track record in proposals of marriage, but here's a guy who knows that his girl wants to say yes, but won't until he asks it right? Now that's funny! The poor guy looks like he's being constantly kicked in the balls every time he glances over at Angela. Hmm. I wonder if seeing all this, and also the genuine love behind the emotions, will sway Bones on the whole love, monogamy, and marriage issue. I'll have to gently probe that a bit and see if it may be time to make my move and get rid of that fucking line I drew a few months back. God, how could I have been so stupid?! I'm just glad she hasn't taken up with anyone since Sully left, but I'm pretty sure she picked up a guy, or called one of her often mentioned boy toys in her little black book, for a one night stand a few nights ago since she had trouble looking at me on what had to have been the day after. I'm not angry, as she is only doing what she thinks is right and also seeking some solace, sexual or otherwise, but I also can't help being jealous. I hate walking this emotional tightrope all the time, but Bones is worth it if we can finally get to a point where we can be honest with each other. Note to self: find out where Sully currently is in the Caribbean, then phone in an anonymous tip of drug and weapons smuggling, with the suggestion of a full strip search and complete body cavity check thrown in for good measure. It's not enough to make up for what he did to Bones, but it will be a nice down payment._

_May 12, 2007: Mac 'n' Cheese. How many times have I made a meal of that sinfully delicious dish? It's gotten me through some pretty bad times, and made those times a little bit better. Bones, though, has outdone any I've ever had and she made it just for me. Something's changed and I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh well, in a few days Hodgins and Angela are getting hitched and things will be quiet for a while until they re-emerge. Maybe I can spend some time with Bones and work out some issues, namely one big glaring one with a title: The Line. For now, I'm going to enjoy the euphoria of Mac 'n' Cheese a la Bones, and the fact that she made me a whole steaming casserole dish of it to take home over and above the amount she made for our private dinner at her place._

"Hey, Bones?" Booth called out when he got to that point.

Bones came into the room, evidently having been in the kitchen at the table working on her laptop. "Need anything?" she asked, giving him a critical once over to once again satisfy herself that he was physically okay. Ever since the revelation of his tumor, she'd been extremely on edge regarding his condition, but she was getting a bit better.

"Can you make me some Mac 'n' Cheese?" he asked, his best charm smile and puppy dog look in place.

Bones smiled. She didn't know if he actually remembered her Mac 'n' Cheese, or if he'd gotten to that point in the journal, but she enjoyed making it for him, and always had. "How much?" she asked, knowing that he could really eat a lot of it.

"A small mountain should do," he joked.

"That's literally impossible," she retorted with an amused chuckle. "But I think I saw a dish in there that should come close," she added, using a bit of exaggeration herself.

"Excellent!" Booth exclaimed. "Now I can get back to my reading!"

Bones just shook her head as she walked back into the kitchen, highly amused at what it took to please him.

Booth picked up the journal and read the wedding fiasco entry.

_May 16, 2007: God Damn! Max doesn't play fair! My balls still hurt from when he punched me. I wonder if it's possible to have it checked to make sure I can still have more kids this soon after being sucker punched in the cajones. I'll have to ask Bones. Wait a minute. Can't do that. She's pissed at me for some reason. Isn't that just my luck? I arrest Max, tell Bones that he let himself be caught so he could try and make things right between them, she hugs me, which felt damn good by the way, and now she won't speak to me. What happened?_

_It was all going well. Hodgins and Angela's wedding got fucked up by the chair warmers at the State Department, those faceless shits, and Bones and me were left at the altar with all the wedding guests. For one moment I was sure that Bones was going to suggest we not waste a perfectly good chapel and pastor, so we should get married ourselves. Now that would have been the perfect end to a shitty couple of days, and I would have been singing "Oh Happy Day" at the top of my lungs, but it was not to be. She suggested we all head to the reception hall and have a party, which translated into me and her getting drunk as skunks together while everyone else had a good time. So that's what we did. And now she won't speak to me. What happened?_

_The only odd thing that happened that day, outside of the non-wedding, was when Zack asked me what it was like to get shot and then revealed his "Presidential Invitation" to go to Iraq. I'm still humbled by what Zack told me when he said I know more about honor, courage, and duty than anyone he knew. I never knew he felt that way about me, and I feel kind of bad that I haven't been more of a friend to him. I hope the kid stays safe and doesn't come back mentally unbalanced, or worse. He means the world to Bones, and it would also be pretty hard for me to take since I didn't do anything to discourage his going._

_I have the feeling what was going to be a potentially awesome couple of months is now going to be pretty miserable. I'll keep tabs on Bones, and when she's ready to talk, I'll be there, but I have a sinking feeling that the possibility of the elimination of the line may have been flushed right down the toilet for the time being. Maybe if I go to confession more often, light a candle every day, and recite my Hail Mary's a few thousand more times I will get to the point where my happiness will be given some consideration by the Big Guy, and my happiness is tied to Bones. Yeah, I know, it's a tall order even for the Big Guy, but if he can't help, I'm seriously screwed._

Booth set down the journal and took a drink of his ice tea that Bones had brought to him a while ago before he'd asked for Mac 'n' Cheese. He needed to read the entry where they discovered the Gormagon before asking her about some things, so he decided to keep quiet during lunch about the journal. He'd do some more reading that afternoon. For now, he wanted to enjoy her company, as he was developing the same incredible pull of emotions for her that he obviously was displaying in the journal entries. She really was something special.

_A/N: I stopped it here for a reason as I want a chapter where he deals with the eight weeks of her avoiding him between the second and third season before delving further into the run of the series. The reviews are wonderful as always and I humbly give my thanks. I hope that the continuing chapters reflect what you've come to expect from my stories. Gregg._


	5. Chapter 5

_This is the latest set of journal entries for Booth's diary. I wanted to write a bit of a different one on this chapter, so I have Bones reading these few entries. It's darker and more angsty than the previous ones by far, and introduces two sides of Bones, both the one reading the entries, and the one in the entires, that aren't seen very clearly on the show, if at all, but that I think are lurking due to the hidden elements of her past. The entries deal with the hiatus between the second and third season where Bones obviously avoided Booth and working in the field which we found out about in the third season opener. I hope this one works for everyone. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Bones was a little concerned as she went out into the living room of Booth's apartment an hour or so after he had went to bed. He'd been pensive most of the evening, and she had a suspicion that it was from what he'd read in his journals after dinner. This put her in a quandary as she sat down on the couch, her laptop on the coffee table with the journal in question next to it. She'd planned on working on a couple more chapters of her new novel before getting some sleep, but the mood he'd been in that evening, and the journal just laying there made her want to investigate. She finally decided that invading his privacy a slight bit was justified as she was genuinely worried. If it was nothing in the journal, then she would know for sure and let it be, but if it was in the journal, she could take steps to make it alright. Coming to a conclusion, she nodded her head and picked the journal up, opening it to the marked page. Her brows raised slightly as she saw that it was the set of entries during the summer when Zack was gone to Iraq. She began to read, knowing that she would not be comfortable at all.

_June 1, 2007: It's been two weeks and outside of answering my phone calls and saying she was busy, Bones hasn't spoken to me since the aborted wedding. I can't help feeling that I've made a big mistake in not interfering with Zack's firm intention of positively responding to the request to go to Iraq. These two weeks have been hell for me. I don't think I realized how much Bones has come to mean to my own well being on a daily basis. Even when I was tearing my hair out when she was with Sully, I still saw her all the time as we worked cases together. Right now there aren't any cases, and I'm afraid that she wouldn't come out with me on one even if I called. A friend from the Bureau told me this morning he saw her at a bar last Friday with some guy dancing and they looked pretty intense. I can't help wondering if that schmuck would have been me if Zack hadn't approached me about Iraq. Now I get to spend another evening by myself at my apartment thinking about how miserable I am._

Bones was getting extremely uncomfortable, and felt horrible over how she'd quite clearly hurt Booth. She had engaged that summer in a pretty regular pattern of arranging late night rendezvous' with men she'd been with in the past who she could call on for some sexual release. She'd been so angry at Zack's leaving, and knowing that Booth had done nothing to try and prevent the young man from going, that it had been the only way she could get her mind away from being angry. She had, she knew, recommended Zack for the position, but at the same time she had only been doing so as a professional. If Zack had come to her, she would have told him he had the skills, but he was not ready emotionally for it. Booth should have told him the same thing, and had not done so, thus she had been angry. She read a few more and then one caught her attention and she reread it.

_July 2, 2007: I started rereading Bones' novels. I guess if I want to be able to have her in my life in some fashion for the near future, that's what I'm reduced to settling for. I reread the dedication to me in the second and third novels and can't help wondering if she isn't sorry she dedicated them to me in the first place. I've obviously shown her I'm not worth it anymore. Parker even asked me about her and wanted to know if we could ask her over for lasagna one night when I have him. I didn't have the heart to tell him his Old Man had fucked up._

A tear fell down Bones' cheek as she read that one a third time. She'd never regretted the dedications of her books to him, and in fact already had the dedication for the latest novel, currently in progress, written out to him. Truth be told, she had never felt more sure of the rightness of her close relationship with Booth than she did right then. She had, by the time that July 2 journal entry been written, already forgiven him, and she knew that her continued distance was because she was unable to articulate an apology. The continued hooking up with men for release was a way of not facing her own inadequacies on that point. For one of the few times in her life, she was contemplating a conversation with someone to seek advice on an emotional issue with the person listening not being Booth. She was willing to give psychology a chance and speak with Sweets. She needed some foundation and focus if she was to discuss this with Booth when his memory returned. Reluctantly, but needing to nonetheless, she turned back to the journal to read some more.

_July 10, 2007: I saw Bones today for the first time since the wedding fiasco. She looks good, and from what I could tell, she's as balanced and grounded professionally as she always is. Under the surface, though, she seemed a bit tense and nervous about being around me. It wasn't a new case, but simply testifying on an old on that's being retried. No matter how much I tried to engage her in small talk, she demurred and I was forced to keep the conversation work related. Does she even know how much it hurts to not even be able to talk to my best friend? Does she even know that I almost requested to go back on active duty and go to Iraq with Zack to make sure he stays safe? Does she know that I didn't because that would have been leaving her and too many people have done that to her in the past and there is no way I will ever be someone who adds to that pain she has bottled up? I just wish to Hell she would talk to me._

Bones' eyes widened at this entry. He'd really considered going back on active duty to protect Zack? Even in the face of his all his demons from his time as a sniper, he'd considered going back into a war zone. And the real shock had been that he hadn't because of her. He'd been too worried about what his leaving would have done to her emotional well being. He was right in that she would have been devastated, and she would have equated it with every other person who had left her in the past, most recently Sully at that point. Now her actions of that summer with the various men she'd slept with, and her unconscionable avoidance of Booth had a much more deadly edge to it. Booth had always told her that she needed to look at things with her heart a little more, and now she was reading his journal with her heart. Her heart was telling her that while she appeared to be acting like a slut by being with those men, even though she had not been a raging nympho and it had only been a couple times a week or so, Booth had been beating himself up believing that he was not even worthy of the dedications she had written to him in her novels. While she had avoided him, he had been feeling like his life had been spiraling into some form of abyss. Just like she had come to see him as her anchor during that first year of working together, she had become his anchor. And for three months she had let him flounder. Sweets, or even Gordon Gordon would tell her she was reading vastly more into this than was there, and they were most likely right, but she also knew that people were most critical of themselves when they began to reflect on their own actions. She was definitely going to have to see Sweets and soon. That brought a smile to her as she knew that her Booth, the one with his memories intact, would be laughing uproariously at the idea that she felt the need to speak with the young psychologist.

When she had composed herself, she decided to skip ahead to when she agreed to come out in the field again. It wasn't that she was deliberately avoiding the time in between, but she wanted to save that for a time when she had spoken to Sweets and gained a bit more perspective. She was also moving to the case that eventually would lead to the horrible revelation about Zack and what had happened to him during that third year of her and Booth's partnership.

_Sept. 25, 2007: I'm almost in shock. Bones actually went out in the field with me today. Granted it was under duress, and with my most winning smile thrown in for good measure, but at least she was in the field. Imagine a skull being thrown from an overpass. I'm hoping that after not seeing me for eight weeks since the end of that retrial this past summer Bones will have calmed down over the whole thing with Zack. I can still see some underlying tension, and also here own personal hurt that Zack was not around in the lab, but she seemed a bit more receptive, especially after the particulars of this new case were revealed to her at the scene of the incident._

_Sept. 30, 2007: I had a long conversation with Bones tonight down at the Washington Mall near the Reflecting Pool. This Gorgonzola case is going to be different. I needed her to know that she could rely on me, but that I also needed to be able to rely on her since we will be running the show on this one. The Squints are great, and Cam has given a really good focusing dimension, but this serial killer case is going to need the leadership of both Bones and me on the same page in order to work it right. I also had to reassure myself that I had my best friend back. This summer has been pretty bad, and the only thing that got me through was the out of town cases that I was assigned that have nothing to do with the Jeffersonian. I only wish that Bones believed in love like I do, as I know now without a doubt that I love her. But she needs to make the first move before I can say anything as she needs to be ready. If I push it at all, then she will likely react like she did when the whole thing with Zack happened and he went to Iraq. She's too special and precious to be anything but patient with. Hopefully she will be ready someday._

Bones set the journal down and leaned back with her eyes closed. Now she knew why Booth had been a bit off this evening. What she had read had been deeply disturbing, to say the least. The last entry, though, was revealing in a significant way. She had spent long hours during the last couple of years waiting for Booth to really open up about what he felt for her, and she had remained detached and distant as she waited for him. Even when she sought release with another man, such as when she had the two boyfriends, she was waiting for him to simply tell her. She was, arguably, much more prepared for a serious, committed relationship with Booth now than she was then, but she had been ready. All the minor lies and omissions in their conversations, both between themselves and with others, had been simply wasted time. She felt bad about it, but she was also now on much surer ground for when Booth regained his memory. Until then, she would speak with Sweets, have some serious discussions with Angela, and make sure that she was as supportive as possible while Booth was in his current condition. _Special and precious_ he'd called her, and she desperately wanted to live up to that now that she knew how much she meant to him, beyond simply words said in a hospital room shortly before his amnesia struck. She would also make sure she made him understand just how special he was to her, and how important a person he'd become for her from almost the time she'd met him. Opening her eyes, she reached for her laptop to begin working on some more of her new novel. She'd begin working on her newfound resolve in the morning.

_A/N: I am extremely unsure about this one, and the implications of it almost assuredly make a third story dealing with Booth's regained memory necessary, so I very much would like some feedback on this one. Some of the aspects of Bones' character may seem darker in the journal than many are comfortable with, so I apologize if this is too troubling. Gregg._


	6. Chapter 6

_Proceeding on with this, here's the first part of season three in Booth's journal entries. Like the second season, I am dividing it into two chapters so I can keep the chapters manageable in terms of length. I have definitely decided on a third story in this series, so when this story is complete, there will be another sequel where we see Bones and a fully recovered Booth deal with the fallout. I've added a bit of humor in this set of entries in spots, so I hope you enjoy these entries. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Booth was in his apartment alone and kicking himself for being so withdrawn the evening before. The pain that he'd read of in those journal entries had seemed so bizarre considering how happy he'd apparently been with respect to Bones, yet he had had a miserable three months when she withdrew so sharply. Oh, he knew that Bones had only been herself during that time, from what he knew about her from his own observations and the journal entries, but it still didn't take from the fact that she was with him now, both in terms of him completely healthy, and also now when he was so hobbled from a lacking memory. Slowly, but surely, he was piecing together the puzzle that was his relationship between himself and Bones. It was deep and had some real texture, as the journal amply demonstrated. He decided to take advantage of Bones being out for a few hours and read some more entries into the third year.

_Oct. 5, 2007: Is Bones trying to torture me? Matter of factly saying she's really good in bed??? And in front of an old friend and mentor of mine??? It's bad enough that I've been fantasizing about Bones for almost three years, but now I have to hear her brag about her sexual prowess? I finally get things back to normal with Bones, and now she gives me something that will keep my overactive imagination working overtime for a long time to come. I wish I could go back in time and beat the shit out of myself for coming up with that line nonsense. I sure hope she comes around in the near future._

_Oct. 13, 2007: Role playing? Now I know that Bones is trying to kill me! How can she so matter of factly announce she enjoys sexual role playing? And what the hell is wrong with those sick fuckers out at that horseplay retreat? I couldn't believe those loonies actually pretending to be horses with bit and bridle in place. I know it's wrong to think this way, but I wonder what kinds of role playing Bones in interested in? If we ever get to the Promised Land, I really hope it isn't anything like that freaky shit we saw this week! I do have one bit of interesting movement on the whole Bones front. She actually agreed with me about the miracle of making love! It's rather interesting that she chose that subject to finally agree with me on something. Great, but interesting. Now I have to go home and hope that I can get some sleep as opposed to waking up with a raging hard on dreaming of being with Bones._

Booth had to agree that his former self had certainly fucked up with that line. He tried to imagine listening to Bones telling him, and someone else, that she was great in bed. All that accomplished was to make him add to the already growing number of impure thoughts about Bones that had been swirling around in his head since he had developed amnesia. It was refreshing, though, in a way, that Bones was such a forthright person. There was never any question about what was on her mind as long as the conversation shied away from relationship elements. Sex was a subject all its own, apparently. The next entry was a bit disturbing. Therapy???

_Oct. 25, 2007: Does someone have a screw loose? Therapy? For me and Bones? Who are they kidding? Our case closure rate is one of the best in the whole country, and except for Bones not wanting to go out in the field for a whole summer, we're good to go. And who the Hell hired this 12 year old who should be popping pimples and playing with his Transformers toys? _

_Truth zone? As if me and Bones need a truth zone to talk. Although, I get the feeling she's trying to tell me something. My penis is going to shrink unless I pay $4 for a damn tomato? Is she worried about Jr? And if so, does that mean she is ready to shred the line? Why else would she be worried about how well endowed I am? Thank God she didn't rise to the occasion when I blurted out what she'd implied in the SUV while we were in Sweets' office. We would have given the 12 year old a coronary! Imagine having two adults talking about penis size and sex in front of you! Hey, maybe we could use that as our ace in the hole to get him to sign off on our partnership! Sign, or we'll embarrass the Hell out of you, and maybe it will come about in public. All I know is, I'm going to have to be subtle with Bones for now until I'm sure she is ready for the big step. Maybe I can drop some subtle hints about playing the old tried and true 'You show me yours, and I'll show you mine.' I used to be pretty good at that, now that I think of it. Imagine. Bones naked in all her glory right in front of me. The only down side is that until that wonderful event takes place, I'll only have my dreams to work with. I'll start the subtle hints tomorrow._

Booth had to laugh at that one. Even with his somewhat limited knowledge of Bones he knew that subtle wouldn't have worked worth a shit. She was too literal and logical in her thinking. He wondered what kind of hints he had dropped, and if anyone other than Bones had noticed. Now that would have been interesting. Obviously the hints hadn't worked, as he now knew that their romantic relationship was a new one. But therapy, though? That was something he'd definitely have to ask her about. That just didn't sound right. He'd met the kid called Sweets, but hadn't realized that the therapy was from back before and ongoing. The next entry, though, really caught his attention.

_Oct. 30, 2007: I think Halloween has just become my favorite holiday. I'm wounded, in pain, and want nothing more than to take some pain medicine and sleep for the next 24 hours, but I saw something today that made it all worth it, even having killed a man: Bones in a totally _**HOT **_Wonder Woman costume! WW has also just become my favorite super hero of all times. The impure thoughts were pouring out of my perverted subconscious like water from a leaky sieve! Confession this week should be interesting. I have only one question that's been bugging me all night. Where in the name of all that's Holy did she hide that damn cannon of hers with that outfit on??? I think that will haunt (or is that enhance?) my dreams for a lot of nights to come. For next Halloween, or maybe I can organize a private costume party if my subtle hints work, I think I should invest in a Major Steve Trevor costume. That should be one humongous hint if there ever was one, assuming we aren't together by then. This deserves some more thought._

Talk about impure thoughts! Damn! The idea of Bones in a Wonder Woman outfit was almost too much to take, and from his perspective he'd only met her a short while before. The impure thoughts from earlier quickly took a backseat to the ones now coursing through his mind. Did she have a Lasso of Truth? If so, that would make for a really hot interrogation fantasy! And with what he'd seen thus far with the outfits she wore, the Wonder Woman bustier would make her already impressive breasts even more spectacular. The idea of seeing them encased in the red and gold bustier that Linda Carter wore when she played the part of Wonder Woman practically had him salivating. A thread of thought was beginning to form in his mind, and it was a bit disturbing if it were true.

Bones had said that the second year of their partnership had formed the basis of their relationship and the two years after that had been the work necessary to recognize it. Could she have been implying that during those two years she had been the one dropping the hints and laying the groundwork for him to come to his senses? It made sense in a demented, logical sort of way. He had, by his own journal admissions, drew the line between them, and it was apparent from subsequent events that Bones had not liked it, though she had obviously went along with it. Now in this third year she shows some concern about his penis, openly states she's great in bed, and now is displaying herself in a hot Wonder Woman costume. How could his former self have missed what would have been so damn obvious? Or did he miss it? He was sure of the damn near obsessive protectiveness that his former self held for Bones, and he would never push something unless it was definitely something that was desired and confirmed by positive action from her. Hints wouldn't be enough. The two of them had created a genuine Catch-22 when it came to their relationship, or rather non-relationship at that point.

"God we were so stupid!" he said out loud with a deep sigh.

"I'll assume you're talking about how long it took us to begin a relationship with each other," Bones said from the door leading into the living room.

"Why were we so blind?" he asked her seriously. His memories were slowly coming together into a picture, but it was still too blurred to make sense of.

Bones walked into the living room and sat down across from him. She wasn't sure she wanted to speak of this while his memories were not intact, but at the same time it was a logical question given that he'd been reading his journals from those times.

"Neither of us wanted to hurt the other, and before we would make any sort of move, we were waiting for the other to say something," she told him.

"You were dropping hints that third year," he said, not a question, but a statement.

Bones nodded. "And so were you," she replied. "But hints aren't enough for us, Booth. We also made some terrible mistakes," she continued.

Booth nodded. "I read some of them a few days ago," he acknowledged. "I didn't really think in those terms at the time."

Bones chuckled. "Maybe when you reread them it will make more sense now," she said as she stood up. "Come on in the kitchen. I picked us up some Thai from Wong Fu's."

"That's the best idea I've heard all morning," Booth teased as he followed her into the kitchen. He made a note to read some more and think about what she had told him. More and more he felt he was on the right track to getting his memories back, and he was certain that Bones and their past were the keys.

_A/N: I thought that this would be a good stopping point as I wanted to do Santa in the Slush entries as a chapter in themselves. I hope you all enjoyed this one, and thank you for all the great reviews this story is still bringing in from you. Gregg._


	7. Chapter 7

_Skipping ahead a little bit to the Christmas season on the third season, I am making this chapter focus on the Santa in the Slush episode. It had a lot of good material that Booth could comment on in his journal, and it would also add some dimension to Bones in the process. I hope you all enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

After lunch Booth went back to his journal reading while Bones went to the Jeffersonian to drop some paperwork off and then do some shopping for some groceries. He quickly went over the month of November, intrigued at the cases mentioned. He read the one in which he had to arrest her brother. That would have been a lousy experience.

_Nov. 23, 2007: Caroline is going to kill me one of these days. I went out of my way to do something for Bones by making it possible for Russ to get only a minimal sentence and then some added time to his parole. Caroline sure has a backhanded slap! I still feel it on my arm. But it was worth it. Bones needs to have family around, and this was a way to guarantee that. Ordinarily I agree with Caroline about things having to do with criminals, but the whole idea of arresting someone because they are a "material witness" and detaining them has never set well with me. A witness is not a criminal no matter how you slice it. I did give Russ a warning, though. I won't tolerate him or anyone else disappointing Bones, or their family for that matter. I think he understands, and he thanked me for what I did. Bones' version of thank you was pretty nice, too, but I would have preferred a kiss on the lips. Is that too much to ask when I risk life and limb from Carolyn's wrath by helping thwart her plans? I don't think so. Maybe I should step up the hints._

Booth felt pretty good reading that one. It felt right to make sure that the system didn't wind up screwing someone over for no real reason. That material witness statute was one he only followed reluctantly. If helping such a witness also helped Bones, then he was all the more in favor of stymieing Caroline if need be. The next entries dealt with the Christmas holidays.

_Dec. 20, 2007: Now what kind of sick bastard murders a Santa Claus??? I don't think I'll ever understand what motivates murderers. Oh, I know all about various so-called motives and I'm adept at recognizing them and piecing the elements together and finding the perpetrators, but I'm talking about in the heart. Here we are in the season that augers peace and goodwill, and yet there are some people out there who would try and destroy all that's good for our society. If I find this guy, and I have a chance, I'm going to see to it that they know what good people think of what he's done._

_Dec. 21, 2007: Bones can be so frustrating at times. I know she doesn't believe in Christmas, but does she have to be such a downer on the whole thing and ruin the good feelings of those around her? She doesn't do it deliberately, and to her it's an honest discussion, but come on! There has to be some room for Christmas cheer and magic, doesn't there? I hope that I can convince her that sometimes a little white lie is a good thing. I'm glad she kept her mouth shut when I let Parker believe that Peru was in Africa. She means well, though. I was pretty surprised, but happy, to see her eyes light up when we entered that apartment above the toy store. My God what a place. I wish I could have taken Parker there. He would have been in kid heaven!_

_I have two disappointments this holiday season. First is I don't get Parker. That really sucks. Every year I have one day that I can actually do something special for my son. That's Christmas. His eyes sparkling when he opens his presents is a miracle all its own, and this year I don't get that. If it wouldn't seriously fuck up my being able to spend time with Parker I'd really let Rebbecca have it over all the bullshit she puts me through. All I want is to spend some time with my son. Is that too much to ask? Second on the Christmas down the toilet list is that Bones is determined to take off for Peru and some dig for the holidays. I had really hoped that I could spend some time with her on the holidays and enjoy her company. No subtle hints, no sure to fail attempts to kill the line. I just wanted to spend time with my best friend._

_Dec. 23, 2007: Bones is troubled. Max wants to have a family Christmas, but Bones isn't too keen on it. She talked to Russ, though, and he pretty much squashed the idea. He doesn't want the girls to know he's in jail, and he won't participate if Bones is in Peru since Max wants the whole family there. I gotta side with Russ on this one. I won't ever tell her, but I think she's being pretty damn selfish running off the Peru during the holidays. I'll work on her tomorrow and see if I can get anything accomplished._

_Dec. 24, 2007: My faith in God and the miracle of the Christmas season has been restored. As I'm writing this Bones is sitting across from me in my living room asleep in the easy chair, asleep. The perfect end to what had started out to be a bad day. Several items stand out, good and bad._

_Good Item #1: Bones made a deal with Caroline that if she kissed me under the mistletoe then _

_clear it with the Judge for a conjugal trailer so Max could have his Christmas. I'm proud of her for trying to arrange something that she doesn't wholeheartedly believe in. It was for someone else, which is what the spirit of Christmas is all about. _

_Bad Item #1: I had to sniff the butts of half the Santa actors in the temp place. Now that one I almost drew the line on, but Bones had a perfectly logical argument behind her statement that we had to do the old sniff test. Some of those guys could use a long, hot shower with a healthy dose of soap! My nose is still curled! We got the bad guy, though, so I guess it wasn't a total loss._

_Good Item #2: Bones planted one on me! Oh my God can she ever kiss! My lips are still in recovery, and also screaming for some more. I thought she'd simply do a short closed mouth peck to satisfy Caroline and her puckish side, but Bones obviously had other ideas since she gave me a full on, hard core, open mouth kiss with some serious tongue action. I don't know what all this talk of steamboats is, but I almost went straight from Bones' office to Caroline's to plant one on my favorite scheming lawyer for making that dream come true with Bones. I didn't, though, as I'd like to have some semblance of my manhood left for when Bones and I finally get together. Damn! Her scent, taste, and the way she used to tongue to do some serious exploring blows any fantasy of her right out o the water! "Like kissing my Brother" my ass! If that were the case, I'd be hightailing it over to the jail house and shooting Russ in the balls._

_Bad Item #2: Sweets just had to stick his little twelve year old nose into the whole mistletoe thing and question us about it, ruining my pie! And what's with that hat of his??? Bones didn't help when she said it was nothing, though I knew she was lying, just like I could see damn well that she'd been lying when she compared that toe curling kiss with kissing Russ. Will this parasitic little pimple ever get a clue that Bones and me don't need his psychobabble gobbledy-gook? He's not a bad guy, but he has a bad habit of bringing up all the stuff that Bones and me consider just between us. That's not cool._

_Good Item #3: Parker, who knows better, showed up at my office and I now have him on Christmas! I should be mad at him for doing what he did, but I can't be mad when it led to such a good thing. I'm also including Parker in my plans for a real Christmas present for Bones and her family._

_Good Item #4: I found out, and I'm not revealing how, that Bones didn't make her flight to Peru and was at the jail house, so my plan for the extra Christmas tree was even better than I'd hoped. Bones sounded pretty grateful, and I know I made a real difference to her and her family. It also showed Parker something of the true spirit this year._

_Good Item #5: The best part of my whole Christmas, aside from having Parker, was Bones showing up at my door about midnight with presents for me and Parker, and a genuine smile on her face. I asked her if she was sorry for missing Peru, and she told me that Peru wasn't where she really needed to be this Christmas. We sat and visited for about an hour before she fell asleep._

_I may say a prayer for Bones every day, and light a candle for her at Mass every Sunday, but for the first time I think that my faith and genuine concern have been rewarded. I couldn't ask for a better gift from God: Parker with me for the day, and Bones along for the adventure._

Booth could imagine how good of a day that Christmas Day was. Having his son there would have been the miracle in itself, but the idea that Bones had put aside what appeared to be genuine misgivings about the Christmas holiday was something that he wouldn't have expected. Some serious flashes of images were running through his mind, and one in particular was prominent. The snow was falling, and he was across from a trailer of some sort with her looking out at him. The smile on he face was one of the most heartfelt smiles he'd ever seen. He had the distinct impression that it was the very event that the journal had told of: the Christmas tree for Bones and her family. Leaning back, he smiled. It was an important step in regaining his memory, and he was determined to read even more and see what it achieved. He made a note to himself that when he did regain his memory, he would do everything possible to let her know just how special she really was. Even in his memory deprived state, he had seen that from the first moment, and now he had even more proof.

_A/N: I wrote this one as a mainly journal filled chapter as the Santa in the Slush episode had so many elements in it to place in here. I hope that it was an interesting set of entries for everyone. Thank you again for the great reviews on the previous chapter. Gregg. _


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